D.O.T.A - Definition of True Achievement.

posted by phonzy

Hello! I'm here to enlighten you guys on how this super awesome magnificent game of the century has affected the male population today and how you're cool to be part of this huge movement of DotA gamers! If you're not part of us then read on how why you're not as cool as us!

First and foremost let me tell you why DotA is essential in our lives. Girls I'm sorry, but you can't be cool. Wait, there are girl gamers! And girl gamers are FREAKING HOT! so if you wanna be cool and get lotsa guys attention (go cybercafe and see how many guys standing behind a chick playing DotA trying to look down her cleavage) then you should try this game!!! wow!!11!11!!! still don't believe? when you're in a dota game, go type 'eh chick at the counter', and watch heads turn!! it was experimented and the results were proven!

Ok, I am a Marketing and Management student so let me show you what we call the Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs! Maslow says that in order to be cool people tend to satisfy their hunger and thirst first and then they wanna feel safe and when they are safe and sound they wanna have sex in that safe place so that they'll feel belonging then when they have sex many times they will have self esteem and social recognition status as a player and when you have more sex then you will have self actualisation that you are a sex guru. So, basically, this theory is full of perversion and rubbish. And honestly, you think chicks that easy to find meh?

What utter rubbish and fantasy he must be living in! Let's face reality here!

instead THIS should be implemented in textbooks instead of the noob chart above...

click the image to enlarge if its too small for your hobbit like eyes

Think about it...

Without DotA...you will not learn the simple essential things in life that DotA will somehow indirectly teach you...you can't get this advise from anywhere else...pay attention for what you are about to listen to are words of wisdom...amen

"In life, you start out as a Level 1 hero, and nothing comes easy, you have to choose your path in life. Mid lane? Bottom? Up? Sometimes you will make wrong decision, thats why must quickly switch lanes. Don't let people harass you when you are melee and you fighting range hero. Don't waste time, because before you know it you already fallen so hard you can't get up. And money not easy to come, you must farm slowly. In this world got other side, other people jealous of your wealth, so they try to deny you, but then if you persevere hard enough, you can make it, then you can buy things, when you can buy things, you become stonger and well established in life. Also you learn how to detect problems, if your opponent using invis hero leh, buy la wards..don't waste time, rectify and identify the problem and terminate it, don't let it be a stone in your shoe, later sure regret...."

SEE. This are the teachings that I will want to tell my grandsons and grandaughters when I'm rocking my OSIM chair at age 92.

What about money you say? Dude, I bet you've not seen the prizes given out in DotA competitions?

Prize National Tournament: Champion : RM 30,000.00 Runner-Up : RM 10,000.00 2nd Runner-Up : RM 5,000.00

That's quite a lot considering your expenditure is only on indomee, loklok and ramly. you don't have to spend much, and its only 2.50 per hour to tah kei. Plus, you don't necessarilly need a lot of money to spend on shopping...

see this chill dude here, he don't give a rat's ass what you think about him coz he knows he looks like THIS in dota!!!

soulkeeper aka terrorblade is so hot right now!

yep yep, and being a DotA gamer, you don't have to have girls to brag to your guy friends how 'succesful' you are! if you play DotA you immediately get bragging rights to your friends and you can tell them off if they're dumb or stupid or just a plain noob and they can't say anything back to you or smash your head with a JW bottle because they know its true ...

observe the following speciment...wukiwuki and me being mr-BUFF of course =))

click as usual to enlarge..

so i can go like : WUKIWUKI YOU DUMB NOOB how can YOU DIE 8 TIMES and NOT GET A KILL you STUPID feeder, ONLY BIG SIZE IN REAL LIFE IN DOTA SUCK LIKE SHIT...GO GET HONORS LA WHAT YOU DOING PLAYING DOTA!!! even creeps better than you wei! and yeah, he can't answer you back and call you back a dumb noob coz the stat says its all!
(k, hopefully wukiwuki doesnt read this blog or he will pound me to death with his spartan infused protein powdered 8 packs)

anyways moving on....

last but not least! DotA helps you improve your social skills and teaches you how to be a gentleman when approaching girls! How many times have you been in a club and you see a hot girl and your pick up choices were :

a) girl is your father a terrorist coz you're da bomb
b) girl you look tired cause you've been running in my mind all day
c) girl i lost my phone number can i have yours?

WOW so damn CLICHE and LAME! Imagine if you are a DotA-er...you can try lines like this and it's so creative and cute and girls will be like *giggle giggle * what's he talking about then you can explain to her and it's a conversation starter...

"Hey, I can't help but notice your linken spheres, I know they repel harmful spells but I'm not harmful."

and if you got that pick up line and actually giggled, congratulations because i know for a fact you're a cool dota player!!

peace out!