The Whisky Club

Monday, February 4, 2008

Kissing Kungfu

I was surfing thru the internet and I terbump into this website called http://www.kissing.com/. This site apparently trying to sell this book called 'The art of kissing' that teaches people how to kiss properly. (Eh... I relli terbump into this website ok?

Anyways.... I find it really hilarious. Who knows, these stuff could be useful when you bring your date out to this romatico dinner outing and you both caught in that kinda moment =P. You don't want to be caught not knowin how to give her the kiss of the century. *kekeke*

Anyways....here are some of the content from the book/website..

Some techniques you'll learn on the DVD:
1. Flicker the tips of your tongues. (you know.. like a snake like dat *kekek*)
2. Rotate tongues in circular motions. (abit of mambo tongue action =P)
3. Play chase back & forth. (wah... like police and thief)
4. Suck your partner's tongue. (!?!...hahahh!)
5. Gently bite their tongue. (lol...sure don't wanna kiss the person learning this)

Here's a typical action you'll see in french kissing. The first drawing shows the boy's tongue pushing deep into the mouth of his partner.

Don't play play...got drawing somemore...*kakakak*

Notice the girl's tongue bending and moving under his. The second drawing shows the girl's tongue becoming more active and playing chase, following the boy's tongue back into his mouth.

But even these incredible diagrams don't tell the whole story! For that, you need the DVD (yah man...need to watch how they play police and thief with their tongue).

I think should be like this...

Girl Kisser : Hahhaha...*tongue attacks* gotcha!!

Boy Kisser: nuuu!!! My turn!!! *tongue goes kungfu speed sticking left and right* Wahhhcha!!

Our How to French Kiss videotape used to be the best way to learn how to french kiss but we just put the entire program on the new DVD together with the How to Kiss video and extras and outtakes, so now the best way to learn to french kiss is from the DVD. The DVD is entitled The Art of Kissing and it contains more than forty minutes of instruction on how to french kiss and teaches you like the book never could - by showing you. (awwrite!)

Lol... so what you guys are waiting for!!! ORDER NOW BEFORE ITS TOO LATE!!
It guarantees that it will...

1. Wake up the lover in you
2. Boost kissing confidence
3. Learn to french kiss in the privacy of your own home - simply by watching! (yah...you can try with your mirror, dog, shoes or the aunty staying next door.)
4. Imagine being able to get someone to give you a series of kissing lessons for the low price of this tape ... An exceptional value! (lol...super marketing)

After reading this website, it have given me inspiration to write my own version...

My one not only teaches you to play police and thief, I also teach you all the kissing kungfu, how to kiss and clean your partner's mouth at the same time, how to play kiss soccer, kiss karate and the secret kiss of power!! Kiss until your partner could never resist you and kiss until all the girls will come running to you like this...