SEVEN FREAKING WAYS TO INCREASE BLOG TRAFFIC!!!

OkaY, I don’t get myself sometimes as I contradict myself kinda often. Everyday, especially during office hours, I would be trying my best in avoiding traffic. But when I get back to my routine of bloggin…I find myself seekin’ traffic. I hate to admit it but I’m hooked. The challenge is there, and if you’re addicted to bloggin…you’d know what I mean.

So my friend Tim sent me a link to Dave Lucas’s entry about “7 ways to get your blog noticed”… and yea….and den tonnes of ideas came pouring in. I’m finally enlightened! Being as naïve as I’m, I will take his word for it. So lets go through the list one by one..

Small list of what you should do to get your blog noticed:
1. Try to get fame for others, the more you give the more you get.
Huhh???? ….what talking you?

2. Search engine optimize well.
Okay… I know dat..

3. Comment on others blogs, create a conversation.
Ooo… ok ok.. this sounds interesting. So I went to Nicole Tan’s blog to start a conversation. I wonder how it will progress.



This comment is made in her latest entry. That should be good coz she would more probably read my reply =) However, the entry was in Chinese as you can see....and I dont know what it says...hope it does not matter.

4. Provide RSS feeds for your blog.
Check…but it doesn’t seem to work leh!

5. Be an expert of your field and provide quality content.
Hmmm….not expert in any field except industrial stuff. I already have to work everday looking at those stuff so I don’t think I want to blog about it! No thanks..

6. Get yourself listed in major directories.
Ooo… I know just the best one!!!



That was easy..

7. Pick up products and provide first hand user experience.
This sounds fun…



Ok….I need a volunteer for this one. Who wanna help me in this demonstration?

8. People do not talk about you if you are a part of the crowd. You need to be innovative and creative.
I’m a freaking genius when it comes to creativity okey..! Here is my latest most innovative ultimate on the road and off the air machine – “Blingblingcardecopter!”



It is yet to make it’s first appearance on the next Jamie de Bondin’ movie!!

9. Get yourself noticed by the A-list Bloggers

Since I don’t know any of them quite yet but here is what I’ve got in my mind. My first target would be Xiaxue the blog princess of Singapore.



Coz no matter how much she bitch about things….she has a huge cult-like following (both fans and enemy alike) I’m going to be nice to her so maybe she’ll be nice back. This is gonna be hard tho coz she ticks off pretty easily. So I better be careful. While I was surfin her site for clues on how to bribe attract her attention, this “donate button” caught my eyes.




A blogger as hard working as her deserve to be rewarded so I’m gonna donate. Here is $5 bucks to you Xiaxue to buy yourself a nice pair of pink panties….. so please…. send some traffic ok?!!



Since you don’t have any links on ur site, erm…. A pic of you wearing it on mine will do =).

Or if you’re too cheap to even buy a nice panties for Xiaxue, you can always try to pretend you are a girl to seduce M’sia’s blog prince Mr. Kenny Sia. This is what I did in his latest entry (scroll to comments).



That is if of coz u’re not a ‘girl’. If you’re …just send him one nice naked pic lorR =P

Or hey…you can get SmashPop’s attention by smashing him wheneveer he jumps….you Smash!! He PopS! LOL (sorry brother...just jokin)



10. Add a viral effect to your blog, be contagious.
Gosh…ok fine!!! *aaaarghhhcheeeeeeW*

11. Try Viral Marketing and Linkbaiting
Aww man…this is getting disgusting…

Tissue anyone ???

12. Use Social Network Sites to your benefit, without depending on them.
Ok...i don' know what social network sites are best but when I typed in google this showed up. Mmmm.... no wonder everyone likes increasing traffic


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Getting a blog noticed is truly troublesome…man…I seriously should rethink bout bloggin’
Anyways…hope this works!!! Thanks Lucas for the great post!

ATTENTION
Nobody was harmed during this entry. It was done solely for my own amusement and not intentional to get anyone upset or excited. I’m currently suffering from insufficient traffic syndrom and please show me some sympathy and start clickin my site everyhour of everyday. =P Oh ya…please pray for me that this would work. *ngek*ngek* Gosh...so lame wei~~

ANyone hav a better idea of doing this "SEVEN FREAKIN' THINGs?" ...If you do...don't forget to link it up with this post *wink*